“We are glad Liam is still with us day”

As I walked with my sister Mary this morning I talked with her about several things on my mind. I told her about the changes I wanted to make in my family. About how I wanted to live with more thought, purpose and direction, instead of just reacting to things as they came. I said that having three children is a very sink or swim situation and I wanted to do more than just keep from sinking. I feel like so often parenting is just surviving one situation to the next and how I had a plan to do more. Then I faced the next two hours and questioned my words. I like to call this day “We are glad Liam is still with us day”. It started out by me trying to sign the boys up for their fall gymnastics class that Rory’s parents have graciously offered to pay for. To accomplish this I put some toys and snacks downstairs and heading up to the office. I told the boys what awaited them and sent them downstairs. A moment later I heard a crash and found that Liam had fallen down the last few steps. He hit his chin on a toy and a mark to show it. After some cuddles he regained his composure and began to play. After ten minutes of working on the gymnastics class I decided to check on them, only to find them outside. Stanford is doing some construction in our back yard and it has created some problems. Liam had made a shiv out of some old PVC pipe and a cheese grader. He also was caring a pair of scissors as a back up weapon. So I quickly took them away from him and brought the boys inside. I locked the doors, created another diversion and headed upstairs to finish. Maybe two minutes later I got the impression that I should check on them. I found that they had somehow got the locks off and were in the back yard. Liam had run up to a steam roller (in progress) and was standing about two feet in front of it. Luckily the guy saw Liam and immediately stopped and turned the machine off. At this point I am in a full sprint screaming his name to witch he does not even flinch. Before I could reach him he was attempting to climb up into the driver’s seat. Flustered and heart racing I drag the boys back into the house and put them in their room. I then proceeded to barricade every entrance to our home. While a spend the next 20 minutes installing hooks, polls, chains and the little beeping things that make noise when they separate I find Liam like this upstairs. Cord wrapped tight around his neck and a bottle of pills in hand. Usually I promise that things do not go like this. Everyone is fine and hopefully I won’t have anymore posts like this. I guess I will have to save my “more than surviving philosophy” for another day.