Happy Mothers Day!

To all our mothers, we love you very much.

We tried to get the boys to do a cute photo holding a sign and roses, but they acted a little too natural. The video is really low quality but you get the idea.

To express Rory’s and I love for our mothers we wanted to share this talk with you that Rory gave in Sacrament Meeting today. Happy Mother’s Day!

Good Morning Brothers and Sisters,

We have been told to turn to the scriptures often and to try to apply them to our lives. In preparing for today, I turned to the book of Mormon to see which stories might generate some insights about mothers.

The first scripture story I remembered was Lehi and his family’s departure from Jerusalem and journey in the wilderness. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise that I thought of that one first – like many of you I’ve read 1^st Nephi at least 1,000 times.

Lehi, being a visionary man, had left everything behind and taken his family and departed into the wilderness and though it must have been difficult, his wife Sariah supported him. After we were married, I took Anne away from her comfortable home in Florida and moved all the way out here for school. Doing a PhD is a long process and certainly a visionary one (in the negative sense), and Anne has stuck with me.

But then I remembered that Sariah complained against Lehi – and those of you who know my wife know that she rarely complains. Also, comparing my sons to Nephi and Sam was one thing, comparing them to Laman and Lemuel was quite another…

Then I thought of the 2,000 stripling warriors in Alma. They were so courageous and powerful in battle and this was largely attributed to the teachings of their mothers. Their mothers taught them to never doubt and trust in God and obey. But the deal-breaker was that they performed every word of command with exactness – not a great description of my rowdy boys.

So brothers and sisters, having failed to apply the scriptures to my life, I turn to the words of the modern day prophets and some of my favorite stories about the mothers in my life.

I have the feeling that the world doesn’t appreciate mothers enough. They are the quiet, unsung heroes, which gets revealed in their daily actions.

Brigham Young said,

“Can you tell the amount of good that the mothers and daughters of Israel are capable of doing? No, it is impossible. And the good they do will follow them to all eternity.”

When one of the mothers in my life was a young mother of 3 small children,

She had an extremely valuable watch that had belonged to her father and was a family heirloom. She took the watch to get it fixed at a very upscale jewelry store. When she called a few days later to find out if the watch was ready, the people at the store told her that it was not yet ready. The same thing happened several more times – each time she would call, she would get a similar answer about the watch not being ready yet. Finally, she went into the jewelry store, explained to them how important the watch was and demanded to have it back, fixed or not. The clerk finally admitted to her that they had lost the watch.

Being the crafty and creative person that she was, she left the store and returned later that day with her 3 children. Right before entering the store, she handed each of them a large chocolate ice cream cone and turned them loose on the store. Upon seeing all the sparkling jewelry, her kids rushed to the shiny glass cases – sticky hands stretched out.

With a sly smile, she said to the clerk,

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll just wait here until you find the watch.”

It took the employees 20 minutes of scrambling in the back while the kids held the store hostage, but she finally got the watch back.

Afterwards, she got on the elevator to leave the store. In it were two beautiful, professionally-dressed women. Her quiet confidence faded and she felt deflated as she looked down at her plain attire and her chocolate-covered children. But to her surprise, one of them turned and said, “I know what you’re thinking, but I would give anything to have 3 darling children like yours.”

This story illustrates 2 things:

1. The ups and downs of being a mom
2. Under-appreciated and largely uncelebrated actions that define motherhood.

In 1979 Elder Maxwell said,

“Greatness is not measured by coverage in column inches, either in newspapers or in scriptures. The story of the women of God, therefore, is, for now, an untold drama within a drama…when the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies?”

I was somewhat of a chubby kid in elementary school. One day at school we had a “health day.” They put every kid into a single file line, and each stepped up to stand on a scale and get weighed and measured. After they wrote down your measurements, the health people sent most of the students to sit together and watch on movie on being healthy. A select few of the children – myself included – got sent to the “Fat Table.” It was myself and 3 other fat kids. We had to talk about why we were fat, we had to make a list of everything we had for breakfast that morning, and how we could make healthier choices in the future. It was not a very fun experience, and I came home from school pretty upset. Unbeknownst to me, my mom called up the school and laid into them – after apologizing to her profusely the administrators got rid of the program.

Despite my early difficulties in applying the scriptures to my life, they are replete with instances of how wives and mothers have taught us to live the gospel.

I quote again from Maxwell,

“A widow with her mite taught us how to tithe. An impoverished and starving widow with her hungry son taught us how to share, as she gave her meal and oil to Elijah. The divine maternal instincts of an Egyptian woman retrieved Moses from the bulrushes, thereby shaping history and demonstrating how a baby is a blessing – not a burden.”

Speaking to young mothers in 2008, Elder Ballard said,

“There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives.”

It is not just that mothers are underappreciated and their jobs so hard, it’s also that the stakes are so high:

Ballard:

In last year’s general conference, Elder Ballard shared a story about his young family. During a period of 10 years he had served as a counselor and then a bishop – and this was also when 6 of his 7 children were born. Often exhausted on Sundays, his wife tried to explain to him what it was like sitting on the back row in a sacrament meeting with a young family.

Then the day came when he was released. That Sunday, the mothers’ chorus was singing and Elder Ballard was alone with his 6 children. He shared, “I have never been so busy in my whole life. I had the hand puppets going on both hands, and that wasn’t working too well. The Cheerios got away from me, and that was embarrassing. The coloring books didn’t seem to entertain as well as they should.

As I struggled with the children through the meeting, I looked up at Barbara, and she was watching me and smiling. I learned for myself to more fully appreciate what all of you dear mothers do so well and so faithfully!”

Elder Ballard went on to advise us to give our wives a “day away” now and then in which we give them a break from daily responsibilities.

In trying to follow this counsel, I had a similar moment of realization and appreciation for my wife a few months back. She had gone for a 5-day trip to New York to visit a friend, and it was her first real time away from the kids. The trip was ostensibly to relax and have a bit of a break (of course she was unable to really take this break and instead ended up serving her friend and throwing her a baby shower).

I was officially flying solo. I was so geared up to spend all day, every day with my boys for 5 days! My first full day with them, I bolted out of bed, cleaned the house, fixed breakfast, made a fort in our living room, had a squirt gun fight, make brownies, read stories, went on a bike ride, and assembled a train set. Exhausted after all our activities, I glanced at the clock – it was only 1 in the afternoon – 7 more hours until bedtime!

We made it through 5 days and actually had a blast, but the house looked like some sort of explosion had gone off. Now, when my wife had previously had the boys for 4 days while I took my PhD exams, she had kept the house immaculate, had dinner on the table, and had completely made over our bedroom. The experience made it very apparent just how hard my wife (and other mothers) work on a daily basis.

President Hinckley also reminded us how high the stakes of motherhood are, and it is something that my own mother has always lived by:

“You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out. It will not be the money you have made. It will not be the cars you have owned. It will not be the large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be, How well have my children done?

Brothers and sisters, I have a testimony of the eternal importance of mothers. They are the quiet, unsung heroes of the world – they are always spiritually in-tuned – and they do a hard job that has unbelievably high stakes.

I am very grateful for my wife. She is an excellent advertisement for 3 kids

My wife is responsible for every good thing that has come into my life since we’ve been married

-she encouraged me to apply to graduate school and helped me with my applications

-she taught me how to be a good father

-she has made me many new friends by befriending their wives first

-she helps our family focus on Christ and try to live a gospel-centered life

At home and in my office, I have this amazing picture of her with our boys – she’s grinning, they’re grinning and they are both cuddled up into her with their arms draped around her. I often think that that is what being a mother is all about.

In closing, I want to echo Elder Maxwell (1979)’s comment to women in general, but also to wives and mothers,

“We are deeply grateful for your enduring us as men when we are not at our best because – like God – you love us not only for what we are, but for what we have the power to become.”

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen